Vulnerability & Connection

Connection and Vulnerability

In her best-selling book “Daring Greatly” Brene' Brown brings forth the challenge and opportunity of vulnerability. It explores our need to connect with others, and the courage it takes to be vulnerable so the connections are real and lasting. Connection takes place in our hearts. Brown admits it can be dangerous when we are not careful who we “let down our guard” with. Yet only when we show vulnerability and truly connect with others do we have the foundation to excel as a team.

Many leaders spend considerable amounts of time protecting their hearts and keeping their ego in place. They don't show vulnerability and so they cannot connect. Their guard is up and their teams pay the price.

As prey animals, horses are instinctively vulnerable. Yet they live most of their lives grazing, not constantly defending themselves. They seek connection, and they live with their hearts open. While past experience affects how quickly they will trust us, at their heart they want to be connected, and respond immediately-if given a chance. In fact, they don’t perform nearly as well if they don’t have the heart connection with us. Horses also have no concept of time. It takes the time it takes to trust us. If they feel pushed, it will take longer.

Like many new leaders, I had my ego, and my guard up. When I first got Echo I spent my entire time with him telling him what to do. I didn’t take the time to connect. As a result, he did what I asked but without the effervescent joy he was capable of. It took me years to let go of trying to get him to do things, and to build the relationship and heart connection. It was best done when I wasn’t asking him to do anything. What a concept! Ultimately I had to let go of my agenda and meet my horse with my heart open and no agenda other than to join him before we could begin to build the deep satisfaction of partnership. Once built, it is a beautiful, sturdy, and incredibly rewarding relationship that I cherish.

I empathize with leaders as they learned to trust their judgement and take the "leap of faith" to be vulnerable with their teams. Only then do the connections happen-and they are the sparks that truly ignite potential and drive excellence.. #coachiing, #leadership, #leadership development,#executivecoaching, #teambuilding,#training